a funny kind of mood

i'm really in a funny kind of mood, and I wish I could shake out of it. It's not the same as it was for most of today - tired, worn out, off. I kind of finished my final paper for 102c. but now, it's more foreboding. Like everything is about to change, even though I know it's not. I've really got to stop watching gangster movies. even if layer cake was good. it's bad for my psyche. I don't even know how to spell that.

the wedding is really sneaking up on me. things are getting crazy. i should be doing more. stupid school. finally talked with dad. it went about as well as can be expected. i stood up for myself and tom, and that's the most important thing at this point.

why am i thinking in a british accent?

I had another tooth dream last night. those are always the worst. i hate them. this time, my lover right pointed tooth came loose, and i finally got tired of it twirling around on one string and yanked it out, only to discover, to my horror, that it was an adult tooth that would have to be put back. turns out the little thread it was holdin on to was the root or nerve or something. so i go into the clinic with tom and someone else was with us maybe, and Suzanne was working at the front desk. she fills out a little money envelop sized thing with "special request" in giant scroll script and sends it to where ever it should go to get the clearance. that's all i remember. it's the first one i've had where i'm actually pulling my own teeth out. I hate them because they're always so real. I can feel them. it's so bizarre. I mean, normally, this wouldn't concern me, except for the whole, gotta put it back thing, which is probably a bad thing. it's not like you can just stick a tooth back on. it's not like you can undo a lot of what i'm doing. smart, eh? but Tom was with me, and that's a good sign, as far as i'm concerned. i bet it's about my dad. that's probably it.

we went for the second/third time to see kontrol at the university theatre (it depends on how you count - we set out to go three times, but only made it to the theatre twice). this time we didn't see it because it's not playin there any more. it just wasn't meant to be. besides, we'd already seen layer cake. We couldn't decide where else to go after that, not very much is open at 10:30 on memorial day, so tom just brought me home and drove away off into the starry, starry night. makes me nervous him not havin a phone. when i 'know' he's made it, i'm only 99% sure =)

i guess i better read for tomorrow.

we saw the three penny opera in hollywood last night. it was good. really good. the open fist did a good job.

m

American Football: American Football: Pitchfork Review

American Football: American Football: Pitchfork Review: "As it stands, they create some very pretty tunes which are perfect for... well... emo-ish things, like cuddling, hanging around a playground at sunset, and sighing deeply. So, I guess I'll just have to pull up my argyle socks and deal with it."

i really have to get this album now. this is the second time i've read this review after seeing af being featured on insound, and this time it may have actually gotten to me.

i'm torn, however, knowing that the band has already broken up, and produced numerous solo projects. what if i like them too much? i'll never be able to satisfy my craving for more. eh, maybe it was good for them to stop while they were ahead.

m

MegaTokyo - relax, we understand j00

MegaTokyo - relax, we understand j00 it took me two days, but i finally finished all 712 megatokyo strips. And my L33t reading skilz are better than ever. now i just need to work on my two papers for silver... yay...

...and so that's when the mg is released from the nmda receptor...

so i'm supposed to be studdying for a bio midterm. the practice questions still aren't up, and the test is tomorrow. I just got home from coldstone with tom (to celebrate the end of his class... he just finished his astronomy final). this has been a crazy day. here's a (rather loose) summary of what happened.

12:30am - leave "Dear Frankie" at the University Edwards. Drive home.
2:00am - give up trying to read and go to sleep
5:00am - cell phone dies, making loud noises while doing so. wake up and re-insert into cradle, praying the alarm will go off at 6:30
6:30am - alarm goes off. in a tired-induced stupor, I snooze it.
6:35am - give up waiting for the snooze to go off and finally get up.
7:28am - leave the condo for the office.
7:45am - begin working.
8:00am - call Chris at UNC to ask what the heck is up with my transfer units. leave message on voice mail.
8:15am - make changes to website and submit for approval.
8:30am - leave for Jenn's to walk the pooch.
9:30am - arrive on campus. park far away. take homework with me. get in people's way for a while.
10:30am - finally give up helping and escape to the children's building to study for bio.
10:45am - Chris from UNC calls me back to explain that it's all a misunderstanding, and my major course acceptance sheet will come later.
11:00am - leave for uci.
11:30am - arrive on campus. proceed directly to Silver's office, where she asks how things are going with my dad and tells me the best way to go about writing my paper. Takes news of my possible departure better than I had expected.
12:00 - go to Dr Anson's office hours, be surrounded by students from the other class. I ask about LTP and explain my understanding of said process. she says it's good. I leave.
12:30 - my slavery and lit class begins. robert and i discuss the dynamics of the relationship between the evil guy who teaches the class before us and our own female prof. Why can't he ever clean off his own whiteboard?
2:00pm - get message from Jenn about needed change to daily news. call and worry about doing it but then realize i can go back to work.
2:15pm - go back to work.
3:15pm - realize i'm going to be late for my meeting with professor kroll. beg tom to take me so I don't have to look for a parking spot. he agrees.
3:40pm - meeting with kroll goes suprisingly well. only need to change a few stylistic things. leave happy.
4:30pm - arrive back at work. Jenn calls to see if I'll walk little bit. I agree.
4:40pm - leave to go to Jenn's
5:40pm - get back from Jenn's. Take tom to BK for some fast dinner before his final.
6:00pm - Jenn calls to see if i'll resend the daily news. I agree and go back to work.
6:30pm - send daily news. close up shop. tom leaves for his final, i go home to study for bio.
8:00pm - Harald calls me with brief crisis about phillipine pastor he's housing. I make phone calls but to no avail and finally call him back to tell him not to worry about it until tomorrow.
8:15pm - tom calls to tell me he's finished his test and is close by, would i like to go for ice cream. would i ever!?
8:50pm - finally buy and devour said ice cream. cake batter + oreo. yummy.
9:44pm - now. not sure what else has happened. tom's reverse lights come on when he turns on his car. it's kind of weird. I've been trying to study for bio. I'm going to be praying a lot durring this test. God always uses the hard sciences to bring me closer to him =)

I guess I'll get back to that. oy vey.

chaos ensues

this is going to be one of those weeks. why do i think that? i don't know.

today the may edition of the worship community webzine went live. it actually went fairly smoothy, and so that was good. every time it gets a little easier. or i care a little less. I'd like to think that it's the former.

today marks the first day of pdc. I'm supposed to actually be attending this one, to build relationships with some of the speakers. the hope here is that they will write for me. well, for the community. we'll see how much actually get to participate. I'm too willing to help out. It's like second nature. hard to give up.

i talked to grandma yesterday. it was her birthday. april told her that we were getting married this auguest. In all fairness, I didn't make it absolutely clear that dad didn't know about the wedding and/or that I wanted to be the one to tell him. So i'm assuming grandma told dad, which just complicates everything. crap.

things at the condo are going okay. it's really not home, but who expected that?

i cut out from registration early tonight and headed over to michaels to check out what papers they have for the invitations. we really need to get started on those. hopefully, i can show tom some other samples tonight.

okay, so my flatmates - sorry, housemates - are really strange people. they make me laugh. their lives are so different from mine. it's kind of strange. it's a long story.

school is crazy. i have two papers and a midterm this week. i'm going to loose my mind. If i don't get to go to workshops because work is sucking me in, i'll probably have to cut to save my school work. unc is going to be so much easier than this. i can hardly wait.

i guess i should study now. just thought i'd give you an update on what's going on.

i'm hungry. they're all downstairs. I want my strawberries. bummer.

The Rumor Mill

The Rumor Mill
okay, this j ralph guy is genius. watch a bunch of the commercials that his songs have appeared in here. (go to "play real")

when she dances

Google Answers: Honda Civic Hybrid Commercial (2004) Song
i totally got distracted for a good twenty mintues looking for the answer to this question. here's how it happened:

i was listening to the decemberists picaresque which made me wonder if they had the album cover art up on thier web yet

so i went to their news page, which mentioned that colin had recently had an interview with one of the ladies from all things considered

this made me remember this song i heard yesterday after a rather interesting story on committing the perfect crime in yellowstone.

so i tried to find the song on thier song look up thingy.

but the sample buttons weren't working so i had to open itunes and try every song from the whole program.

the second to last one wasn't showing up on itunes, so i tried to get the sample button to work one last time. and it worked! that was the song!

i remembered liking it because it was a car commercial. but i couldn't remember which one. anyway, the info on the atc website said that J Ralph had composed it and it was available on "the illusionary movements of geraldine and nazu"

so i went to itues to look at this record again. but this song wasn't on there.

so I emailed atc. i said, look, this song isn't on this record. where can i find it?

they emailed me back a form letter with faqs. great.

so i did a google search: "when she dances" + "commercial"

and after a while, I came up with this.

so it turns out that it is on that cd, but only at b+n?

that's one way to make me go in there and buy it, I guess =)

back to the paper....

mel

Shortpacked! by David Willis

Shortpacked! by David Willis
i've been sucked into shortpacked. somehow i decided it would be a good idea to get caught up on it's walky instead of pulling quotes for my paper (having already decided to postpone the actual writing of the paper to tomorrow night).
i can't believe willis brought back mike. and robin. it's kind of cheep, but also good. in a, we're all having walky withdrawls kind of way.
i think i should sleep now. tomorrow's going to be a very long day

so here i am again...

it's late and i'm having trouble getting motivated to work on the burke half of kroll's paper. i noticed that mackenzie was on line and that made me remember to invite her to the wedding, which made me remember the list of people that i made at dinner, then i had to find it, then i had to go on line to imput it all in, and once i was on the knott, it was hard to tear myself away. ayya.

i did a really bad job of meditating on the word "pray" today. i'm not sure how good i'm going to be at this one word bible study method thing. and of course I picked a long verse to start with (ephesians 1:18). maybe i should call tom now. he'll wake me up and get me motivated to do work. or he'll convise me that no sleep makes melissa a very grumpy and generally unplesant girl... hahaha....

a good relationship is like a pair of jeans

okay, in the spirit of katie's brilliant post likening relationships to couches, here's what I was thinking yesterday. the relationship part was definitly confirmed by my housemates escipades last night (i'm still having trouble not saying "flat mates," but since this isn't actually a flat, but rather a condo, i suppose housemates is more appropriate). so here goes:

a good relationship is like a good pair of jeans. i don't think you can truely appreciate either until you've spent a very long day in a skirt and smoothly shaven legs. Do you know how incredible jeans feel after that? really, really good.

----

i accidently called grandma and papa today. it turned out to be good... i needed to talk to them anyway, but talking to them is something you really need to prepare for. by that i mean you need to be somewhere quiet, where it's alright that you speak a little more loudly than normal, because it's rather hard for papa to hear over the phone. so here i was walking through campus, outside, walking fast, breathing hard, in the wind, yelling about my wedding. i'm sure it was pretty comical for everyone else =)

i picked my wedding dress up from dad's tonight. it's really going to happen. Thursday, i'm meeting with Sam to lock in the reservations. i'm so excited. i am so blessed. thank you God!!

these are some pictures of the Historic George Key Ranch where the wedding will be held. This is the front porch, where the ceremony will take place. 

where you all will be sitting 

where the cake will go 

the main driveway 

the gardens 

the gardens 

in one of the origional sunkist orange groves in california 

oranges! 

i'd forgotten how much i loved the sounds eclectic too cd

Have you seen?Have not, will travelHave I missed the big reveal?
Do my eyes,Do my eyes seem empty?I've forgotten how this feels.
I've been highI've climbed so highBut life sometimesIt washes over me.
Have you been?Have done, will travelI fell down on me knees
Was I wrong?I don't know, don't answer.I just needed to believe.
I've been highI've climbed so highBut life sometimesIt washes over me.
SoI dive into a pool so cool and deep that if I sink I sinkAnd when I swim I fly, so high.
What I wantWhat I really want isJust to live my life on high.
And I knowI know you want the sameI can see it in your eyes.
I've been highI've climbed so highBut life sometimesIt washes over me.
Washes over meClose my eyes so I can seeMake my make-believe, believeIn me.

--'i've been high' rem

yellow

i just found the sounds eclectic version of coldplay's yellow in itunes. i love this song.
i'm having problems motivating myself enough to reume writing my paper.

tom came over tonight. we made tuna caserole while Nicole's family came over to make thier own dinner. we unpacked some, but stopped when we got to tom's letter box. the old shoe box with all my letters to him in it... the ribbons from that valentine's day... the brown paper wrappings covered in quotes from 'the god of small things'.... pictures from high school and after. i cried when i got to the last thing i wrote to him before i left grand junction. I remembered writting it ... crying then too, feeling like i was loosing a whole family. and here i am, crying again. it reminded me that tom's family really is my family too, and how much it hurt when his family fell apart too, and my perfect family was not only absent, but gone altogether.

it's been a very long day. i think i must need to go to sleep.

15 minutes - happy mother's day!!!

i have 15 minutes before i leave for church. is that really enough time to finish my last point on Paine (or begin my last point, for that matter)? i didn't think so either.

i almost forgot:

happy mothers day to all my moms!!!

((but most of all to my favorite mom, my real mom. I love you!))

in honor of mother's day, i present the following picture. this is what my family calls "the tired face picture." "tired face pictures" are a long tradition, beginning with the first time we scaled the great wall of china. by the end, we were so tired, the tired face picture was all we could muster up. come to think of it, there were a lot of tired face pictures in china, mostly associated with temples and endless stairs. in any case, this tired face picture was taken after my mom thorougly trounced everyone at monopoly last new year's eve (another time-honored tradition). the guy with his head cut off is my sister's old boyfriend. my fiance, refusing to get sucked into another picture where we intentionally look our worst, opted to take the picture rather than be in the picture. my mother, of course, is the beautiful one in the center, looking radiant, no doubt, because she has just taken every bill in the monopoly game, and also because it's next to impossible to make her look otherwise.

University of Northern Colorado

University of Northern Colorado Home
this is where I'll be going to finish my last year of college. I'll not really enthused, but I'm at peace, and I know that this is the plan God has. I've learned not to ask too many questions when He tells me to go do something.

okay, that's enough procrastinating about my Burke v. Paine paper. These would be so much easier to write if God would just tell me what He wants me to say on them! haha.... I guess my various papers are pretty insignificant in the scheme of things. They're only papers, after all. The important thing is people. And only one person will ever read this paper as long as I live (unless I become a famous writer one day) and it's doubtful that this particular paper is going to get any one saved.

Speaking of which, I've been thinking of revising that letter I wrote to Heather to see if I can get it published in Boundless or Relevant. I think I have a shot, but probably not until classes are over.

Read "i am not, but I know I AM" It's Louie's new book. It's really amazing. It really puts things in perspective. Bev, I think you would really think it was interesting.

okay, back to my paper,
mel

Our Wedding Webpage @ The Knot

Your Wedding Webpage - The Knot

hey everyone... I'll try to keep this updated....

=) mel

George Key Ranch Historical Park

OCParks.com: George Key Ranch Historical Park

this is where we're going to have the wedding.

save the date

hey everyone! 99.9% sure that 13 Auguest is the date.... make sure you'll be in town!!!! More info when we get the place nailed down.

I moved in to my new place last weekend. still doesn't feel like home. it will get better.