yellow

i just found the sounds eclectic version of coldplay's yellow in itunes. i love this song.
i'm having problems motivating myself enough to reume writing my paper.

tom came over tonight. we made tuna caserole while Nicole's family came over to make thier own dinner. we unpacked some, but stopped when we got to tom's letter box. the old shoe box with all my letters to him in it... the ribbons from that valentine's day... the brown paper wrappings covered in quotes from 'the god of small things'.... pictures from high school and after. i cried when i got to the last thing i wrote to him before i left grand junction. I remembered writting it ... crying then too, feeling like i was loosing a whole family. and here i am, crying again. it reminded me that tom's family really is my family too, and how much it hurt when his family fell apart too, and my perfect family was not only absent, but gone altogether.

it's been a very long day. i think i must need to go to sleep.