I so don't miss high school
Reading over certain things has made me realize that I'm really glad I'm not in high school anymore. And, even though it may pain me to say it, I'm glad I finished up high school in Colorado. If I hadn't, I might still be the same person I was in tenth grade: upset at most everything, and way too driven by academics. Not to mention stuck in the same mind set forever. Not that I hated high school or all the people I knew then, actually some of them remain my very best friends (Beverly, this means you), but really, I've lost touch with almost everyone except Beverly, and perhaps that is for very good reason. I don't know, I'm beginning to ramble now in the hopes of forgetting just how much I have to get done before Monday.
The thing is, I may not be engaged at university - everything that everyone says they miss about college (read: social life or skipping class to go to the beach) I don't have. And even though my renewed commitment to actually finishing things up is a good one, it certainly doesn't entail uci taking over my life. (actually, that's kind of funny now that I think about it). I used to be so sure that I was in another place in my life, and now that I'm in limbo again, it kind of makes me identify more with my peers, who neither know what they want to do with their lives nor, too often, really care. A part of me envies that... The not caring part. Just because I've resolved not to be worried doesn't mean I don't care.
The thing is, I may not be engaged at university - everything that everyone says they miss about college (read: social life or skipping class to go to the beach) I don't have. And even though my renewed commitment to actually finishing things up is a good one, it certainly doesn't entail uci taking over my life. (actually, that's kind of funny now that I think about it). I used to be so sure that I was in another place in my life, and now that I'm in limbo again, it kind of makes me identify more with my peers, who neither know what they want to do with their lives nor, too often, really care. A part of me envies that... The not caring part. Just because I've resolved not to be worried doesn't mean I don't care.
posted by Mel at 4:11 PM
2 Comments:
I've thought about things like that a lot. I think high school could have been more "fun" for me, too. I haven't kept up with many people -- just you, Gary, and Kunal. (Maybe not even the latter two, since all we do is read each other's journals.)
I can't say we do anything wacky at Reed -- most things revolve around studying. But I guess it's the little things that make college (or high school, for that matter) memorable.
I'm not really sure what I want to do with my life, either. Then again, most people I've asked (who are happy with their current jobs) always started somewhere else and migrated later. Maybe that's what'll happen to us all... if we're brave enough to change.
One thing won't change: I'll always be here.
thanks bev. At this point, when most everything is changing around me, it's so comforting to know that there will always be some constants.
I hope you know that I will always be here too =)
lissa
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